Valentine’s day is fast approaching, and I don’t want to be one of those miserable hypocrites that only love Valentines Day when they have a significant other in their lives, and hate it every other year.
Last week I purchased a one-way ticket to Orlando. After landing, I requested an uber to the Penske depot and drove off in a twelve-foot truck by midday. I’ve moved several times over the last decade, and to be honest, I’ve lost track of what’s in the boxes I have scattered throughout my storage spaces. But this time is different. This time I live in New York. wasted space cost me a pretty penny, and I wouldn’t be sinking my hard earned cash into a storage unit without running inventory on what I had. Fast forward a few days. I’ve stumbled onto my mini Moleskine from 2011. A year, that if to be summarized, would be captioned by a heart emoji, closely followed by a broken heart emoji. I took said Moleskine to my apartment, poured a Johnny on the rocks and began reading through the pages. An excerpt from seventeen-year-old Jonathan experiencing his first kiss with his high school sweetheart. Enjoy.
“An in-depth explanation of what I feel about you. How I feel when I see you or kiss you. My toes tingle and then go slightly numb. Slowly, and yet seemingly within seconds a feeling shoots into my legs. My knees feel like the epicenter of an earthquake. I look down, they appear stable and somehow feel weak and wobbly. Steadily this feeling climbs it’s way up. It hits my gut the hardest. For a quick moment, those lovely butterflies lunge around my stomach and arouse nausea. I am hit the hardest. My heart melts down into my stomach, then congeals and shoots up my throat. It knots up. Into my mouth and then down into my longing hands, longing to touch you, It ends in my brain, where it also began really. Back to “Point A.” I’m stupid in love. It’s not a second too late either because there you are. In my mind and now in person.”